sábado, 28 de janeiro de 2006

Pra cascar o bico: Toda a Verdade Sobre O Chuck Norris, o melhor ator da história do Cinema Americano, segundo a Rede Globo de Televisão (foram 4.568 sessões de filmes de Chuck Norris em toda a história da emissora, que sempre o considerou um Grande Artista Moderno de Alto Valor Estético). Roberto Marinho, tendo atendidos os desejos expressos em seu testamento, foi enterrado vestindo uma fantasia de Chuck Norris. * * * * Prediletos: Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. / There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. / Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. / The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. / There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. / Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. / Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking. /Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths. / When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. / Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. / Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. / Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. / Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. / Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure. / Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent. / Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes. / Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives. / Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.